Reset & Rise
Resilience; (noun) The capacity to bounce back, survive, recover and even thrive in the face of adversity.
As a human being, hearing people show resilience through the toughest of times amazes me. Sometimes I will see people cry about their experiences, and then at times I will see some laugh. The one thing they have in common, is the ability to reset and rise. Majority of the time Im in awe of how strong they are. Nobody is perfect, yes sometimes we don't respond well, sometimes our emotions burst the sanity lid, the worst is when we realise we are abit of a drama child. Regardless, therapy gives you a space to understand all this and navigate from a healther position. Does it happen over night? NO... Does it take work and time? YES.
Can you do it? OFCOURSE...
This is your sign to Reset and Rise
Emotions-Feelings-Mood
Emotions- when an event happens it invokes a chemical reaction in your body. For example, heart racing, sweaty palms and stomach churning. That is our emotional response.
We continue to then make sense of the emotions as a feeling. Feelings can be personal, so the same symptoms as above can be interpreted by one as excitement but for another it can be anxiousness or fear.
A mood is when both emotions and feelings linger for a long time. They merge and create a fusion between the chemical and emotional reaction.
For example - being in a happy mood will be the fusion of chemical realises of dopamine or serotonin, making you feel light and uplifted and therefor making you happy and that happy feeling lingering for a longer period.
I used to find it hard to understand my emotions and found it even more difficult to express my feelings. This often led to confusion in mood. I could be extremely sad about something but rather than discovering where the sadness came from, I would get frustrated at other peoples lack of understanding. The truth was, I was not capable of expressing the right way, because that would mean to be vulnerable, and being vulnerable meant weakness.
So to hide my fear of being weak, I would suppress the feelings by being "off"- withdrawn and agitated, slightly angry and dismissive. Even though all I wanted was some reassurance. Ofcourse we aren't perfect but we learn and grow. So can you-
Let's Reset and Rise.
Fairy Pools- Lake District
Luss- Loch Lomond
Conic Hill- Loch Lomond
Challenges & Reward
Discomfort is the currency of growth- Bea (fellow therapist)
Facing adversity and overcoming obstacles often leads to personal growth, fulfillment and success. Just as a difficult physical journey like hiking up a mountain can lead to breathtaking views. The struggles we encounter in life can lead to valuable outcomes such as inner strength, wisdom or the will to achieve our goals. Some experiences come with ease but the most rewarding and meaningful experiences often come after enduring hardship.
No, that does not mean we purposely seek hardship- it simply means, what you are going through right now might feel like climbing a steep mountain without proper gear but once you reach the top and inhale the fresh air you will feel accomplished. At the same time, you must be mindful that when you feel like you are about to climb another steep mountain, you remember the tools and techniques you used the first time to overcome this challenge. Turn these obstacles into manuals on how to become more resilient.
And then Rest and Rise.
Hero Mentality
Hero mentality refers to the mindset where an individual feels compelled to take on significant challenges or responsibilities, often putting themselves at risk or prioritising others needs above their own. This mentality is characterised by a strong sense of duty, bravery and desire to make a significant positive impact.
People with a hero mentality often seek to solve problems single handedly, sometimes to the point of
neglecting their own well-being or underestimating the value of collaboration.
Sometimes this starts with a strong sense of purpose, like protecting loved ones, serving a cause or contributing to something larger than yourself, but when taken too far it can become detrimental and lead to burn out.
You may struggle with boundaries as feelings of guilt or selfishness may arise if you dare focus on yourself. So, you say YES to everything whilst ignoring your own physical, emotional and psychological needs.
As a mother, wife and first child, I was always at the front line. I also found it difficult to ask for help, because that would then mean- not having my sh*t together. I always thought when God was distributing guilt, he dropped the mug in my recipe! but with time I had to learn that taking care of myself is not selfish- its SELF LOVE.
A distorted hero mentality often involves to tying your self worth to how much you sacrifice for others, feeling valuable when serving or rescuing. Then feeling lonely and sad when the same is not reciprocated.
True strength comes from balance, not self sacrifice; taking care of yourself empowers you to help others more effectively.
First Reset and then Rise
Self Sabotage
How many of us self sabotage? how many of us recognise what it is? how many of us have been functioning in destructive ways and not realise that we are causing the destruction for ourselves?
Self-sabotage is when someone does things that hurt their own success or happiness, often without realising it. It’s like setting up obstacles for yourself, even though you want to reach a goal.
Deep down inside we may believe that we aren't worthy enough to have that success, that achievement, that relationship, so find excuses to why we shouldn't put in our 100%.
A great example of self-sabotage in a kids’ movie is The Lion King. Simba, after the death of his father Mufasa, blames himself and runs away from his responsibilities as the rightful king of Pride Rock. Consumed by guilt and fear, he chooses a carefree lifestyle with Timon and Pumbaa instead of facing his past. His avoidance and self-doubt allow Scar to take over the Pride Lands, causing suffering to his family and kingdom. Ultimately, Simba must confront his fears, take responsibility, and embrace his true identity to restore balance and achieve his potential as a leader.
Solution?- Notice what you are doing that holds you back.
Reflect on why you are doing it? (Fear, Doubt, Or Habits).
Choose small positive steps towards your goal.
Stay consistent, practice self-compassion and keep going, even if its hard
and then Reset & Rise
BOUNDARIES
Imagine a elastic band, stretched from one end to the other. If untouched the line will remain straight and taught. However if someone comes and pulls one side far back and lets go, the whole band will move left to right until it slows down and becomes straight again.
I like to think of boundaries as that elastic band. Boundaries when kept straight and taught help protect your personal space, feelings, and needs. They show others how you want to be treated and what you’re comfortable with. You will meet many people that will test your patience and try to cross the line.
The art of setting a boundary lies in not only preventing the line from being stretched too far but also straightening it again, ensuring that others' meddling doesn't leave you unsettled for long.
People often think boundaries mean shutting others out or cutting them off, but the reality is it can help you feel safe, respected, and in control of your life.
Some cultures view boundaries differently, seeing them as a challenge to cultural norms or even as a sign of disrespect. While mainstream media and western therapy often promote individuality and exclusivity, which isn't inherently wrong- but this perspective can be insensitive to those who struggle to adopt it. For some people it risks creating a sense of isolation from their family or community.
So how do we set respectful boundaries?
1. Reflect on Your Needs: Think about what makes you feel safe, respected, and comfortable. Identify situations or behaviors that feel overwhelming or stressful.
2. Understand the Context: Consider your cultural values and the dynamics of the relationship. Think about how you can communicate your boundaries in a way that feels respectful and natural in that context.
3. Choose the Right Time: Find a calm moment to bring up your boundary. Avoid setting boundaries during heated arguments or when emotions are running high.
4. Use Clear and Polite Language: Express your boundary simply and kindly. For example, say, “I need some time to myself after work,” or “I’d appreciate it if we discussed decisions together first.”
5. Explain the Reason (if needed): In some cultures or relationships, explaining why helps the other person understand. Keep it brief, like, “I need this time to recharge so I can be fully present later.”
6. Be Consistent: Stick to your boundary when it’s tested. Gently remind others if they overstep, like, “Remember, I mentioned I can’t take calls late at night.”
7. Stay Open to Dialogue: Allow space for questions or feedback, especially if someone struggles with your boundary. Be willing to listen while staying firm on what you need.
8. Practice Self-Compassion: Remember, it’s okay to feel guilty or nervous at first. Setting boundaries takes practice, and it doesn’t make you a bad person.
Setting boundaries can be a tool to help straighten relationships not reject them.
Let's Reset and Rise
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